Our expectations of a good Domestic Helper (DH)
Your Personal Hygiene
- You have to tie up your hair neatly at all times, except when you bathe and sleep, so that you don’t look messy.
- You cannot wear sleeveless or very sexy clothes when you are working. You cannot use make-up or nail polish at all.
- You have to bathe and brush your teeth at least once a day. Change your clothes whenever it is dirty, and make sure you have no body odour at all times as you have to take care of the baby. Use the deodorant that we provide.
- You cannot apply anything that is oily or has a strong smell as maam & the baby are sensitive to them. No perfumes or oil. If you are not feeling well, let us know and we will give you other medicine.
- You must always keep your room neat, clean and tidy.
- You must always keep your finger and toe nails short and clean.
- Always wash your hands with hand soap after using the toilet, after doing your chores, after eating, when we come home from outside, before cooking, before preparing feedings and before taking care of the baby.
Your Conduct
- Listen carefully to instructions and follow. Please do not argue with us when we give you instructions. Since we are the employers, things will be done our way.
- Be humble, mature and responsible. If we tell you that you have done something wrong, apologise and do it correctly. Apologise saying ‘Sorry maam/sir’, not ‘ya’ or ‘ok’. Remember your mistakes and do not repeat them again, or you will be wasting everyone’s time.
- You must be polite and greet everyone who comes to our house or when we visit their houses. This is good manners.
- Please greet us and our parents before you eat. If we are having meals at other people’s houses, do greet the owners as well. This is basic courtesy to be thankful for your meals.
- Please do not talk to outsiders without our permission. If you are outside and someone comes to speak to you, move away or let us know. Only talk to people we know, including other helpers we know.
- You cannot open the door to any stranger without our permission. We will tell you if someone is coming.
- Answer the phone if you are alone at home, and not busy with the baby. It will usually be us. If it is someone else, just say we are not home and to call back later.
- You can only enter our room if we tell you to. If you need to do something inside, like cleaning and packing, ask our permission first.
- You cannot enter the rooms of other people’s houses unless we ask you to, or our baby is inside. If you need to do something inside, like cleaning and packing, ask our permission first.
- You cannot watch TV or read the newspaper when you are supposed to be doing your work or taking care of the baby. You can read our books if you have the time, especially cookbooks. Do not turn on the television on your own, especially when you are alone in the house. You can read, write, or just rest after you have finished your chores.
- After you have finished repaying your loan, you can use your own salary to get a prepaid card for use. You can only use your handphone after 10pm, or if we allow you to rest earlier. Your handphone must be off and kept away from 7am to 10pm as that is your working time. We do not want you to be distracted when taking care of the baby. If you break this rule, we will keep your handphone and not allow you to use it anymore.
- As we are not Christians, you can only pray at home.
- We will keep all your money for you, and you can keep track with our documentation. When you need the money to buy things, tell us how much and we will pass it to you.
- You have to inform us immediately if you are slightly sick. If you are sick and don’t see a doctor, we will have to take care of you when you are very sick. You may pass the germs to the baby or us, and we will all fall sick. We will be very angry if this happens as the baby is sick and very weak.
- Please tell us if you hurt yourself. We want you to get treated immediately in the right way. Do not use your own medication. We will give you ours.
- Please do not use any of your traditional ways on us or the baby. Just do your job well and we will treat you well like a member of our family.
- Do not ask us for an off day as that is part of our agreement. We will go out as a family.
- You cannot tell outsiders what happened in our house or what we say. This is simple respect for us.
- You must always be honest and tell the truth. Please do not lie to us about anything. If we find out you lied about anything, we cannot trust you anymore.
- You must NEVER steal anything - clothes, things, money or food from us or anyone else. If you steal, we will send you to the police and you will GO TO JAIL. You will also not be able to come back to Singapore to work FOREVER.
Your Job
- Taking care of the baby is your most important job. You have to take care of her well, then do housework.
- You cannot beat or scold the baby. If she is naughty or you cannot handle her, tell us and we will teach you how. If you treat her well, she will love you too.
- If something happens when you are feeding, changing or carrying the baby, like raining or water boiling, always take care of the baby first. Finish what you are doing with the baby quickly then go do the other things.
- If you think the baby is sick, tell us immediately. A small thing might be very bad for the baby, so we have to give medicine fast.
- We will give you instructions on what to do everyday. You must reply “yes, maam/sir” if you understand. You must always ask if you do not understand our instructions or have forgotten something. We will not be angry with you for asking, but if you do something wrong because you did not ask, then we will be angry.
- When we ask you if you know how to do something, tell us the truth. We will show you how to do everything till you understand. You must follow and do all the jobs.
- We will give you a reasonable amount of work to do every day. If you cannot finish, you must tell us the reason, and we will adjust the schedule if it is necessary. Be fast, but make sure everything is clean.
- You must always ask us if you want to do something we did not tell you to do. We have our own ways of doing things so just follow. Don’t try to use your own ideas because they may be wrong.
- When we go to our parents’ houses, you must also help to do the housework there, like sweeping and moping the floor, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and others.
- When we go to our friends’ houses, you must also help with the cleaning, cooking, washing dishes and others, if we are having our meal there.
- Help us to save money by not wasting water and electricity or things. We will give you tips on how to do a good job while saving money, like always turn off lights when you are not in the room, don’t wash things with too much water, can use last rinse for washing clothes to mop the floor, and make sure the lights, switches and gas are off before we leave the house.
- Always make sure that the window grilles are locked when you are cleaning windows. Always close and lock the window grilles in the study room after putting out or keeping the clothes.
- If you break something, let us know, in case we need to replace it. Don’t let us find out only when we need to use it. Be more careful the next time.
- Please put things back to where you took them from. Do not remove anything from its place without checking with us if it is ok. Else, we will not be able to find out things in the future.
- You will usually rest about 8-9 hours a day. We will inform you what time to wake up the next day depending on our schedule. Finish your chores before you go to bed regardless of the time.
- There are different cloths/brooms/mops/pails for different areas/purposes. Remember them and use them accordingly. If you cannot remember in the beginning, please ask, as we will be upset if you use the wrong one and dirty them.
- We will provide enough food for all your meals. We will tell you which are the items for you.
- We will provide all bath items, toothpaste and sanitary pads. Do not use the other toiletries in the bathroom. You will have your own set.
Your agreement
- In return for no off-days, we will pay you an extra $20 per month from your 8th month onwards.
- Your family can call maam’s handphone number if there is a need to speak to you during the 1st 8 months. You can buy your own calling card when you get your pay and call them once a month. You can also give them our address so that they can write to you. You can write to them as many times as you want. We will pay for the paper, envelopes and postage.
Please sign below to state that you accept and promise to work according to the above expectations set out for you as a Domestic Helper.
_________________________________
Name :
Date :
27 comments:
Hi Are,
Thanks for this. This is good! Suitable for my ex maid who always wants to do things her way no matter what we say. In the end, she told me she wants to resign and ask me to send her back to agency.
do you have any guideline/ sample timetable for maids looking after 5 month old baby? My maid helps my mum to look after my baby on weekdays.
Thanks in advance
Abt letting them to use Mdm's handphone.. My MIL (who stay with us for a period of time) gave my previous maid her hp no. to use in case her family need to speak to her (that was her 2nd mth working with us)..
i found out abt 2wks later (bcos I was at work most of the time) and I told her not to use my MIL phone as I feel its unfair to disturb her since the maid is my employee, i gave her our house no. instead.
it turn out they call every wk, and its abt 2-3 times per wk.. worse part is the line isn't good over their Indo side, so the line keep getting cut, and the call keep coming each time.. and each phone call is a chitchat not a call for emergency or those once awhile type of "how are u?"
But I realised its always the same man voice. I ask her who the call was fr, everytime she gave a different identity (eg. her son, her mum, her sis, her BRO-IN-LAW, her COUSIN etc etc).. I got fedup with her phonecalls and told her to tell her whoever not to call bcos its disrupting her work and also disturb baby's sleep (sound of constant loud phone ringing) but she still happily accept the calls whenever it rings for her. THen I started to refuse to allow the man to speak to her, the devil start to call during weird hrs thinking i won't pick up like 3am, 5am, 6am timing!!!
so fedup and not wanting to change my phone number (hassle of informing so many parties/friends), i told the man off that the maid has been sent back!.. initially he still try 2-3 calls, but i refuse to let her pickup.. he hangs up whenever he hears my voice.
anyway, i finally just send her back few days ago bcos of her bad attitude too.
was told by friend i shouldn't give them my house phone no, unless they finish their 2 yrs contract (at least then u can trust them n know their character), ask them to call agent if they need to contact the maid for any emergency.
Hi,
After looking at Are's contract content, I think my maid "might" think she is lucky for she has a much better life with us, at least she has all the freedom to move my things around the way she wants as long as things are kept tidy, sleep at 8am as logn as bb has gone to sleep, etc.
I have no problem with my maid until the day we arrived home from a Macau/HK trip. (She took good care of my baby and i think she deserves a trip..) On the day we realised she called home thrice a day using my house phone without my permission. Many more lies came into the picture.
After two weeks, the same thing happened again but because we need her help, we compromised by allowing her to buy a hp for another 3 months of her service before we send her home. We tolerated the many sms during the day as we think we should allow the sms since we have agreed to let her own a hp. But the most irritating happened only two days ago when my hubby checked her top ups. She refused but my hubby called tehs ervice provider direct as the sim is registered under his name. We realised "someone" top up for her very regularly. DOn;t know how but through some "wonderfool" networking she has been able to connect to many other maids (despite she has no off and never go out of the house to buy stuff etc)but I do not think maids would want to top up for her. My best guess is that is a man!!!Well..i learnt one lesson, they are birds of the same flock and never think your maid is special than others no matter how highly they are educated. Just imagine how much they can actually do behidn our back!Gosh!!
- We will keep all your money for you, and you can keep track with our documentation. When you need the money to buy things, tell us how much and we will pass it to you.
I think if you look into it you while find that as an employer you do not decide how and when your employee spends her pay. You are supposed to pay her either by transfering her pay to her bank account or give it to her in cash and keeping a record. Maybe you should refresh yourself on MOM you tyrant.
Hi May I know what is a SAHM?
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Hi May I know what is a SAHM?
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SAHM means stay at home mum.
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- We will keep all your money for you, and you can keep track with our documentation. When you need the money to buy things, tell us how much and we will pass it to you.
I think if you look into it you while find that as an employer you do not decide how and when your employee spends her pay. You are supposed to pay her either by transfering her pay to her bank account or give it to her in cash and keeping a record. Maybe you should refresh yourself on MOM you tyrant.
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I had an ex-maid who asked me to keep her salary for her. I actually wanted to give her cash. But she did not want to keep money with her. She would ask me for a certain amount whenever she needed. I had a log book to keep track of everything. I wanted to open a bank account for her. But she sent most of her money home and never had much money left.
If the maid agrees to the arrangement, and she signs an agreement, I don't see a problem.
For my current maid, I opened a bank account for her and transfer money to her every month.
Hi!
These house rules are good. However, does the agency know about this house rule contract that we ask the maid to sign? The maid can sign the house rule contract at our home without the knowledge of the agency, right?
Talk about asinine.
So the point of this list is... ?
If you want someone to remember that, ask yourself whether you can remember it yourself.
If you want it as a contract, so you can deduct her pay if she violates them, she doesn't have much choice does she? You could even write "Not responding to crying baby within 3 cries warrants a 10$ deduction in pay".
This sounds like it was written by a control freak woman with serious self confidence issues.
And yes, I do have a maid. We agree on principles that she works by. She's happy, and I think that is better for my baby.
Would you rather have a stressed out maid looking after your child?
"If the maid agrees to the arrangement and signs an agreement, I don't see a problem."
Really, Tamarind? If you know so much about maids then why can you not see that a desperate, poor young woman might sign a contract she doesn't fully understand, or have any power to change, simply because she needs the job?
And having a maid ask you to safeguard her salary is one thing. That's not what happened in ARE's case - she just withheld salary with no such request. That's enslavement. You treat these women like they are less than human. I mean, not allowing them to leave the house? Come on, is that a joke? You all sound so backward, and insecure, and silly... and quite evil, in fact, and I hope that one day you have to pay for it. You make me sick.
Sahara,
Not all maids are "desperate, poor, young woman".
I had an ex-maid who told me that she could easily pay me back the maid loan (about SGD 2000).
I had another ex-maid who told me that she wanted to change to a new employer, because she wanted a very easy job which can allow her to talk on the phone all day and take afternoon naps.
Do not think that all maids are simple minded village girls. They always have a choice. They chose to work in Singapore. They can choose to go back to their country, or change a new employer any time they like.
My current maid told me that she turned down a few job offers from Singapore while she was still in Indonesia. She specifically wanted to choose a Chinese Cantonese family like mine, because her ex-employer is Cantonese and treated her very well.
So maids do have a choice. Please do not use the word "slave". My maid earns a good salary from me, and her house in Indonesia is bigger than my HDB 5 room flat. My maid also owns a shop and a fish pond in Indonesia. These maids come to work for us because they want to provide their family with a good life, they can also save enough money so that they have a good life when they retire. How can you say that they are slaves ?
You will probably learn more about maids after you have changed 8 or 10 maids. Then I believe you will not make such comments.
Well, as I mentioned, I use the word enslavement because Are didn't actually pay her maid! She kept the wage for 'safekeeping' but who knows if she will actually give the money to the maid when she leaves? She does not have the right to do that. Working for no money = enslavement.
Sahara,
"Are" will definitely pay the maid. Please do not think the worst of people. Singapore is a lawful society. There are some cases where employers owe the maids' salary, mostly because the employers are really broke. These case have been brought to MOM (Ministry of Manpower) and the authorities made sure that the employers paid.
Singapore is not the backward, third world country that you imagine.
Please have some respect for us.
I've spent plenty of time in Singapore and I don't think it is 'backward' at all. I just think you should all show a little more respect and human kindness. Everyone you'll ever meet is fighting a hard battle, especially these women, and instead of treating them with dignity, a lot of you make their lives more difficult by acting like spoilt princesses.
Sahara,
Please read my blog carefully.
I have always written here that the maid is a human being just like us, and we should treat the maid, in the same way as our employers treat us. Please learn to read every line carefully.
How to manage a maid
You have a tendency to jump into conclusion and always think the worst of people. In fact, I think you are not treating the maids as your equal. You believe that they are poor, stupid, ignorant village girls of a lower class than you. You, of a higher class, must shower them with kindness like you do to beggars.
My maid, and all the other 7 maids I have before her, are not poor, stupid or ignorant. In fact, they are intelligent and modern women. My maid carries the same model of mobile phone as me. (I changed the rules to allow her to use mobile phones because the kids are older now.) They are here only because they want a more luxurious life for their family. I treat all my maids as my equals, like my colleagues in my office, and treat them with dignity and respect. I advise all other employers to do the same.
I advise you to learn to treat maids, as well as the other Singaporeans, as your equals too and stop thinking the worst of us.
"Are" wrote this :
We will keep all your money for you, and you can keep track with our documentation. When you need the money to buy things, tell us how much and we will pass it to you.
She wrote that she will buy whatever the maid needs. In fact, most maids send most of their salary home, so there will be not much money left. Why do you have to think the worst of people ?
Are's maid does not have any day off. So how do you expect her to have the chance to buy anything ? As for the issue of giving maids day off, I will discuss in another post.
It is very ignorant for someone to say that Singaporean employers are "spoilt princesses". Few women in Singapore are very rich and can afford to sit at home shaking legs all day.
The majority of married women in Singapore are working full time to help support the family. I leave home before 8am, and return home as late as 8pm. I have 2 kids who are only 17 months apart. So when they were babies, it was really tough for me. If my maid went on off day, I would have to be on my feet all day, washing, cleaning, carrying the babies, etc. I had no rest at all. I work everyday of the week, and I really need some rest during the weekends !
My American brother-in-law left his baby in the play pen all day, and refused to carry him no matter how hard he cried. He even disallowed his wife(my sister-in-law who is Chinese) to carry the baby. Well, I am Chinese and I do not approve of this western style of caring for babies. I think that if babies want to be carried, they should be carried for as long as they want.
That is why I totally understand why many Singaporean employers prefer to find maids who can accept no off days.
The fact is that these maids accepted the agreement to have no off day. Again, please do not think that these maids are stupid and do not understand what they are signing. In fact, I think they are very clever, thinking that they can accept the job first, and then persuade the employers to give them off days.
I do advise employers to give their maids off days whenever possible. Now that my kids are older, my maid has an off day every 2 weeks.
For those employers who really cannot give their maids off days, try to make sure that the maid has more time to rest everyday. Give the maid some private rest time and let her call her family or friends.
"My maid, and all the other 7 maids I have before her, are not poor, stupid or ignorant."
GASP. Why have there been so many? Honestly, no one is that unlucky to land a whole string of unsatisfactory maids, there is undeniably something wrong with either the employer's personality or the expectations, and I believe that the problem originates from this List of House Rules which even Mother Theresa, bless her soul, would not be able to stringently follow, I'm sure.
Yes I have been very unlucky. Read about my maids here :
About my maids
I just read your comments on that page :
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dior_j_adore said...
looks like i have misjudged you, and my comments may have been too harsh. pls accept my apologies if you have come across my earlier comments to your house rules.
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Apologies accepted. I know it is very difficult for others to understand.
I have a problematic maid too.
one year already still has never change.
During her off day, she always never come back early. She suppose to come at 8.30am
I was so angry with her especially the xmas. She came back nearly 11pm, she din even bother to call me or sms me. When she is back, she dun even bother to explain to me. Wash some dishes and then went to her room and sleep while i have guest at home. NOW SHE IS ASKING OFF ON NEW YEAR.. I don't think nobody can tolerate her attitde. Worst part, she ask my daughter and niece to get out the room cos she want to sleep. - I WANT TO SEND HER BACK PHilippines
I think giving Ma'am's phone number for maid's family to contact is a bad idea. I did that and I became the phone operator for my maid. Her husband calls at funny hours like 1am, 6am, 12mn!! Once I left my phone at home while out for family gathering in the evening. Guess what? I have 36 missed calls on my phone! All from the same person - my maid's husband. Thinking that it is something urgent, I quickly got my maid to return his call. It turned out that these are not urgent calls at all.
So, think twice and thrice before using this option.
WORK AND STUDY
PART TIME JOB
After reading your rules, I realised the rules I set for my ex-maid was too loose. She even came in my bedroom early in the morning without knocking to carry my baby out when she heard him crying. I asked my husband to tell her off immediately. We treated her so well, even offer her to skype with her husband to compensate for her no-off day. When she wanted to send gifts to her children, we offer her $10 to buy gifts for her children. And you know what she did in return, she stole money from me and buy more gifts for her children and snacks for herself. Disgusting. I sent her back to Philippines right after that.
Hi
I would like to ask for your advise. I've just hired a new maid. She's a filipino. I am very concern about allowing her to use her hp every night. Is it ok? (she would return back to me every morning)
The thing is, I didn't know about her having 2 other sisters working here in Singapore as domestic helpers for a couple of years. And I am worried about her being influenced with what might be communicated to her.
She has no off days but we do go out as a family.
Thank you very much i can clearly see where i was wrong with my pervious maid who really misused lack of rules she was having a cell phone i don't know about she was stealing money and sending it home and worse she used to bring men to the house when am at work
Good houserules. Wish I could work for you with these rules. Very clear to understand
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